Write a personalised note or send it anonymously. We will print it out on a heavy grade parchment paper and finish it with a lovely bow. Fishing for the note while being engulfed in stink is half the laugh.
We’ll seal up your stink jar and ship it out within 1-2 days. So this means it has plenty of time to ferment and ripen. The Fart will then be sent Direct to your recipient’s door.
Yep, that’s it!
Now imagine the look on their face when they realize they just inhaled an invisible turd. And once they’ve breathed in the surprise stench, you’re done. It’s the perfect way to tell someone how you truly feel without ever having to say a word.
Send the Perfect Smelly Little Present
This is the perfect way to say Happy Birthday, give someone a Secret Santa Gift or just have a good laugh at another’s expense.
- Arrogant friends or fathers-in-law
- Roommates, suitemates, cube mates, classmates, cellmates.
- Ex-boyfriends, girlfriends, one-night stands.
- Great way to say Happy Birthday, Anniversary or Merry Christmas.
- Friends or enemies you haven’t seen in a while.
- Stag parties, wedding parties, pampered chef parties.
- That person you’re thinking about right now!
“Whilst approaching my front door there was a lovely little package addressed to us both of which I thought “ah how lovely someone appreciates us”!! However, I then proceeded to open it with great difficulty as it was so taped up I was beginning to think there was some kind of illegal substance inside. Once I eventually opened it and saw a sweaty little jar I immediately thought, before opening the jar, this is Hayley and Martin! Next, I opened the jar and thought what the actual **** is that smell?! I immediately regretted sticking my fingers inside to remove the little, wrapped piece of paper! It took me the rest of the day to wash the revolting smell off of my fingers that resembled the smell of what I can only imagine sticking my hand in a cow turd would smell like!!”Karen in Frimley (Recipient)
Sceptical? Don’t be. Here’s why:
1) Is this real? As close to real as a fart in a jar can get. Our clients love our product and we do everything to make sure our clients are happy with what we deliver!
2) Where does the fart come from? Our secret method. Even so, would you ask the colonel to divulge his secrets? But don’t worry, it’s not flammable and it’s non-toxic.
3) What comes in a Farts Direct Jar? A fart. Plus, a customized note that says whatever you want.
4) Can I send a Farts Direct Jar anonymously? Yes! However they won’t know who sent it unless you want to sign your name to the note. Nothing short of a court order will unseal our cheeks.
5) How long does the smell last? 7-10 days depending on temperature and nostril flow. This includes shipment time.
6) How bad does it stink? It won’t knock you out. Although you can sure as hell can smell it when you open the jar.